The Quite Obvious Truth

I went to see the Ugly Truth a few nights ago, and I really wasn't expecting very much from a movie rated 1/2 a star, but as I am quite frequently reminded, I really don't mind watching movies that others believe are horrible. So, while I really enjoyed the movie, it didn't really teach me anything I didn't already know about men. I think intuitively, every girl knows the subtle art of manipulation. Any girl that has talked to a single guy other than her family has got to realize that they do indeed think out of their cocks. Really, there should be no surprise there. Just the act of putting on make up, spraying some perfume, wearing those heals that you know your ass looks great in, it's all a part of our manipulation. We know all about the librarian and the saint, and we use it. Even in relationships, we know how and more importantly, when to switch from friend mode to lover mode, and you can sure as hell bet we are using it to our own benefit.

The movie did a pretty good job in portrayed men as complete idiots. This fact is pretty much undeniable. Mine frustrates me probably more than most people I know. There will be times he will say something, or he wont understand something I'm saying and it will truly feel like we are from two completely different planets. I firmly believe that the ugly truth was right about the fact that guys will constantly think out of their dicks while women will think from their brains, or perhaps more often, from our hearts. But as long as you have a guy who knows how to keep his cock in his pants around everyone else but you, I don't think these differences are necessarily such a bad thing. Speaking from experience, there is nothing quite like the feeling of having a guy who you know is one hundred percent attracted to you and only you. In a good and healthy relationship, these differences balance each other out, and both people are better for it.

However, just as men have their faults, women are no picnic either. We're emotional, at times bitchy, judgmental, stubborn and truly there are times we are just downright crazy. Now let me define crazy. My elderly, almost blind and somewhat senile dog bit me the other day when I went to go kiss him goodnight. I was, needless to say, pissed. So what did I do? I gave him the silent treatment. For days I wouldn't talk to him, thinking that he did nothing to show he was sorry. I would feed my other dog and would completely ignore him. In the back of my mind I knew my dog had no idea what was going on, he probably hadn't even realized he bit me to begin with, much less days upon days later. Yet, I could not forgive him. I wanted to know he was sorry and I wasn't going to let it go. It wasn't until one night when I was laying in bed thinking about the situation did I realize that I was being completely insane and if I could be this unbelievably stubborn when it came down to my senile dog, I was extremely lucky to have a guy who could put up with me.

My last comment about the movie is a little bit different. There was a scene where Butler asks Hegel how many times a week she "flicks her bean." Now I don't believe myself to be a prude but I have to say that asking a girl how many times a week she "flicks the bean" is crossing a line. I don't understand why it's anyone elses business how many times their friend "rubs the nub." Perhaps that is a bit prudish, but I just believe that some things are best left private. There should be some sort of mutual understanding within humanity that says what you do behind closed doors has every right to stay there. But, thats just my opinion.