Food Philosophy

I just came back from watching Julie and Julia and I have to say, its been a long while since a movie has resonated so deeply with me. Although I know I am not alone in saying this, I truly feel like that movie was speaking directly to me. I'm a new blogger and just like Julie was in the beginning, I can't help but feel like no one is reading my blog. I mean, sure I know that's not entirely true as the amount of hits on my site keep steadily increasing, but I can't help but wonder who to attribute this to. In reality, I have three "followers" and they include my best friend, my boyfriend and his best friend. I love them each dearly, but considering they usually tend to hear more of my thoughts than they'd like to, it doesn't seem worth it to write a blog for their benefits. So I guess what I'm saying is, I can't help but feel like a very tiny fish in a very large pond, a needle in a haystack... and at times, a nobody. But then again, aren't we all just nobodies?

It's exactly times like these, times when I feel myself spiraling quickly into an existential crisis that I love to bake. Unfortunately, it is almost 1 am and if I go downstairs to bake now, my parents will probably send me to a shrink. So instead, I'll blog about baking. Don't get me wrong, I love to cook, and back when I was at school me and my boyfriend would cook together almost nightly. Usually, we'd spare no expense, buying the most random ingredients for dishes that we knew we would never use again. By the end of the year, my pantry was probably more stocked than most of the women have after accumulating theirs for a decade. Although sometimes, cooking proved to be a stressful and at times annoying process, the truth is that when we finally sat down to eat (usually three hours after starting the entire cooking process, not including grocery shopping), all the blood, sweat and tears (literally) all faded away. The alcohol helped, no doubt- but it was more than just that. It's this feeling of fulfillment, of utter satisfaction that is so hard to explain, that made us go through the entire process the following night.

Cooking, however novel the dishes, is still a mundane process. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, but as it is something that must be done daily, it tends to lack the excitement of baking. I started baking before I ever started cooking. My mom would deal with the dinner, and occasionally, if I was in the mood, it was a birthday or holiday, or if someone in my family had a yen for something sweet, I would make dessert. I have become quite well-known within my family and close friends as being the one to turn to if your sweet tooth is acting up. However, as I've grown, and therefore so has the amount of stress in my life, I find myself gravitating towards the kitchen every time something truly bad happens in my day. The day my car got broken into and my ipod and gps was stolen, I discovered the joys of monkey bread. A bad grade on a test? Only white chocolate coconut cookies could brighten my day. Part of this has to obviously do with the end product, but really, thats just the cherry on top. Most of all, its the very process of measuring exact quantities of ingredients, that can make you forget your troubles for just a little while, and sometimes give you the perspective you need to get yourself through the day. I know those who hate baking, saying that they prefer the freedom of cooking to the exactness of baking, and while on a day to day basis I agree with them, there is something extremely liberating in just following a recipe to the T. Well, I suppose I never truly follow a recipe exactly, often choosing semi-chocolate chips over raisons and the like, but when it comes to the flour to baking soda or powder, I never wavered from the recipe.

...And the smell. There really is nothing like the smell of something sweet baking in the oven. The way it drives you wild for sometimes up to an entire hour, and then comes out too hot to eat, tantalizing you for even longer as you sit there wondering with every minute that passes if its cool enough to eat yet. There really is nothing else like it. Finally, you then get to watch your family and friends devour every last bite, searching for the words to express just how great their life is just for knowing someone who has the ability to make something as wonderful as what you have just presented to them. Taking your own first bite as you watch the faces of all of the people you love looking like they have yet again reached nirvana through one of your own creations, you join them in their bliss realizing that the horrible day that had occurred only hours earlier suddenly seems like little more than a distant memory.

Anyways, I tried not to give too much of the movie away, because I really want everyone who has ever really understood the sheer enjoyment of a single morsel of food to watch this movie. So, go...watch. and tell your friends to read my blog!